The first few months of a baby’s life is often referred to as ‘the 4th trimester’. Anything that you can do to simulate the environment that your baby has had whilst ‘on the inside’ – will help them feel safe & secure.
The single biggest tip I can offer is to learn how to wrap/ swaddle your baby. We often have families in crisis because their baby isn’t sleeping – they typically have one thing in common – they have chosen not to wrap their baby.
How do I wrap my baby?
This method allows you baby to still have their hands, to be able to move, but be contained & importantly prevent their startle reflex from waking them.
Layout muslin wrap in horizontal position
Fold over 10-15cm
Place your baby so that their head is on position B, with their shoulders slightly below the fold line. Place one of your baby’s hands under the fold, then bring corner ‘C’ over your baby’s body, and secure it under their bottom.
Place their other hand under the fold, then bring corner ‘A’ over your baby’s body, and secure it under their back/ bottom.
Fold the bottom of the wrap up over their legs, and secure each side under your baby’s bottom/ back
but my baby doesn’t like being wrapped….
A newborn baby has very recent experience of being able to wiggle & squirm. Your uterus did a great job of allowing these movements whilst containing your baby. Your baby needs to feel the security of containment. It also prevents their ‘startle reflex’ (which is present till 4-6 months of age) from waking them.
There are many commercially available products such as ‘woombie’, but you can save money, energy & sleep if you learn to wrap your baby from the newborn phase, until they are able to roll.
How can I make my baby’s baths enjoyable?
Many babies find their bath too overwhelming, they suddenly don’t have any covering (security) and are fully exposed (literally).
- ensure the bath is ready before undressing your baby.
- keep baby covered in a towel, until about to put into bath.
- cover your baby’s tummy and body with a face washer/ handtowel (enough to cover from shoulders down to top of legs). This allows their body to remain ‘contained’ and help them feel more secure.
- when the bath is finished, enclose your baby in a towel (face uncovered), and only uncover the part of the body that you are drying or dressing.
How do I know that my baby is getting enough to drink?
What goes in, must come out – to put it simply – if your baby is having 6-8 good wet nappies per 24hrs, then they are getting enough to drink.
What can I do to help my baby go to sleep?
Recognise when they need a sleep. These ‘tired signs’ can be quite subtle, but they will be clearer (& louder) the more tired your baby becomes.
As a general rule, when your baby wakes, you’ll change them, feed them & they will go to sleep again.
It won’t be long before your baby will have consistent periods of awake/ alert time. This is when you will possibly change to: when your baby wakes, you’ll feed them, change them & then they may have some awake/ alert time, before becoming unsettled, signalling that they are once again ready for sleep.
When your baby has signalled that they need sleep:
- Reduce stimulation – take your baby to their sleep place, talk in quiet soothing voice, close curtains and blinds
- Check/ change your baby’s nappy
- Wrap/ swaddle your baby to give them the feeling of security ( & prevent startle reflex)
- Have some quiet time with your baby. A cuddle is some quiet time that you both can enjoy.
- It may only take a few minutes of quiet time, before your baby is relaxed and ready to be put into their cot.
How can I get my baby to sleep?
Start early, because the more over-tired your baby becomes, the more help they will need from you to get to sleep. The trouble with needing your help is that when your baby moves from their first sleep cycle to their second (about 20-30 minutes), if the conditions aren’t exactly the same, they will wake fully, and request your assistance.
Even adults have sleep cycles. You may not be aware of it, but you ‘stir’ multiple times during the night. If the conditions are the same as when you went to sleep (or usual) then you will cycle through without fully waking. If however, your pillow has fallen off the bed – you will fully wake, get your pillow, and fall back to sleep. Similarly, as your child cycles through, if the conditions aren’t the same at Point A (in your arms/ being breastfed/ dummy in mouth) & Point B, then they will fully wake.
Crying
All babies cry. When your baby cries, you should try to comfort soothe them, but all cries can’t be fixed! This in no way indicates your failure as a parent, but rather that your baby is like the millions of babies that have come before. Thankfully the crying does tend to climax at around 6-8 weeks, then markedly decline after that.
I have found the website www.purplecrying.info to be worth looking through. Although it is an American site, it does a great job of discussing the time in a baby’s life when they will cry the most.
Overstimulation
I often see babies that are overstimulated. Parents and grandparents with the very best of intentions jiggle with the baby in their arms whilst swiftly patting them on the back/ bottom. Remember that your baby is very used to hearing and feeling the beat of their mother’s heart – usually a nice steady 60 beats a minute.
How can I get people to help me with my new baby?
Even in today’s world of families being spread all over the world, when there is a newborn, there are numerous people that want to help.
A baby’s crying tends to peak at around 6-8 weeks. This is the time that your baby “wakes up”, they have more awake time between sleeps. I advise that you plan ahead. Any family or friends that offer to help – gratefully accept. I would cynically suggest that you get any meals in single servings, because you may go days without eating your evening ‘witching hour’ meal together with your partner.
Remember that there is always health professionals that can help – 24 hours/ day. Your GP/ child health nurse, and of course myself. If it is after hours 13HEALTH can assist.
The website: www.raisingchildren.net.au has great information that is all research based.
Babies are a magnet. When you go for your ‘witching hour’ walk, you will meet people, who will no doubt have their own advice to share. I have always taken the approach of listening to all advice (that is given with care & concern), then choose which parts of it make sense & work for me.
How do I know what my baby needs?
Signs from your baby:
for “I’m hungry”:
- Your baby may make a sucking noise
- Your baby will turn their mouth towards a breast (even Dad’s). This is one of the not so subtle signs.
Be careful not to fall into the trap of your baby being overtired, then having a short feed, falling asleep, only to sleep for a short period, before waking again, being hungry (and overtired), & once again having a shorter feed before falling asleep – repeat – repeat – repeat until you loose your mind! Your sanity will thank you if you can recognise the early tired signs, and act on them.
for “I want to play”:
- Your baby will have smooth movements
- Your baby may make eye contact, with wide-open eyes
- Your baby may closely watch or listen to you
- Your baby may copy the sound and tone of your voice.
Playtime is very brief for little babies. Infact, as a newborn, there will often not be any wake time between feeding and sleeping.
for “I’m tired”:
- your baby may have jerky movements
- your baby may clench their fists
- your baby may arch their back
- your baby have glassy-eyed staring (turning head away from you)
- your baby may yawn (not necessarily)
- your baby may frown
- your baby may suck their fingers
- your baby may rub their eyes and/ or ears
- your baby’s grizzling will get louder – progressing to a cry (late sign that means that they are over-tired)
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